As I take a moment to reflect on the intricacies of my daily life, it becomes increasingly clear that there are numerous aspects that in need of change and adjustment. This year has been quite a roller coaster for me as it is filled with ups and downs but I wouldn’t say it was entirely bad or good. That's just how life goes, right? Some events unfolded for a reason while others were just unfortunate moments. Yet I can’t help but feel thankful for both experiences as many say that every situation has its lessons. Embracing this mindset allows me to grow and evolve, helping me navigate the complexities of my journey with a sense of purpose and resilience.
I find joy in gathering these moments. They serve as gentle reminders in the midst of life's chaos, providing us with solace, connection, and a profound sense of meaning. Here's to another collection of the moments I've picked up this year.
일. In April, I had the wonderful opportunity to visit Seoul with my family. I even bought a brand new pair of boots (I love boots!) thinking, of course, that the lingering chill of winter was behind us and that vibrant flowers would be blooming all around. However I couldn’t have been more mistaken. To my dismay, it was still quite chilly despite winter supposedly being over. We enjoyed a full week there filled with beautiful sights and experiences except for one little hiccup. I can’t help but feel betrayed by the snow which decided to reappear just as we left the country. It hardly seems fair! I've been yearning to see the fresh snow again since my last visit in 2018, but alas, it escaped me once more. Perhaps next time will hold better luck!
이. I began my gaming journey in March and it’s incredible how quickly my travel budget vanished into building a gaming PC. Those expenses were substantial yet I truly don’t regret a single penny spent. I often said that once I got my hands on those games, there would be no turning back. Well, that prophecy has become my reality. Although it steals my sleep time, I must admit it’s all worth it. The hours I dedicate have transformed into something profoundly meaningful for me. See point number 3.
삼. I've created countless memories with the friends I've made in the game. It's surprising especially since I'm naturally an introverted person. I usually keep to myself and wouldn't even answer the phone back in the day. Yet I've really managed to step out of my comfort zone when it comes to socializing and I’m proud of that. Still, I wonder if this newfound confidence will translate into real-life interactions. Deep down I'm still that shy, reserved person, just a bit of a “shy shy cat,” you know? But I have my darksystem family in the game and they bring me so much joy and laughter!
사. The best thing that happened to me was finally experiencing what it's like to have a brother. I’ve often wished my late brothers were here with me but this world wasn’t meant for them. So Allah blessed me with someone I can call abang. Unfortunately it was only for a short time and Allah took him away from me, from us. The pain is incredibly deep. Even though we’re not connected by blood, he is my brother, both in this world and the next. He showed me the beautiful bond of abang and adik and it’s something I would never trade for anything.
오. After years of struggling with my emotions and constantly fighting against myself, I believe I have finally mastered the art of stoicism. This means I’ve learned how to manage my emotions effectively without falling into the trap of complaining about them or letting them control my actions. It feels almost as if I've become heartless or perhaps more accurately, like the “chill girl” who no longer gives energy to the things that don't contribute positively to my life. My peace has become my top priority; I realize how essential it is for my overall well-being. I’ve adopted a straightforward approach: anything that disrupts my peace, no matter how significant it may seem to others, I simply cut out of my life. It’s a liberating decision to make even if it sometimes feels a bit harsh.
육. I am currently in a relationship with someone who I am genuinely glad to have met. He stands out as one of the nicest people I've encountered compared to others I've dated in the past. My hope is that this relationship could be the one that lasts even though we’ve been experiencing some challenges lately. I find it difficult to articulate my feelings as certain issues seem to relapse. It creates a longing for solitude; a time when I can be completely by myself. Like I said just now, my peace is my top priority. Lately I've felt a stronger desire to retreat into my own space and have less interaction but I also need him at the same time. This internal conflict feels somewhat frustrating. I’m making a conscious effort to ground myself and approach everything with rationality, trying to find a balance between my need for solitude and my desire to maintain this relationship.
칠. When I talked about making changes and adjustments in my life earlier, I realized it's time to completely revamp my daily schedule. I’ve noticed that I often spend 5 to 6 hours gaming, which isn’t the most productive use of my time. To foster a more balanced and fulfilling life, I’m planning to reintroduce blogging and reading into my routine. Writing and reading has always been a passion of mine. I'm eager to dive back in. I’ve managed to carve out at least an hour each day for workouts which I consider a significant achievement. Committing to regular exercise was challenging for me in the past and the fact that I've made this a part of my routine makes me feel proud. I followed my own schedule yey! I really need to restructuring my daily to-do list to include these passions of mine with the hope to cultivate a more enriching and rewarding lifestyle.
팔. I am currently looking forward to enjoying hearty meals each day. One of my main goals is to significantly reduce my consumption of oily foods and junk foods, replacing them with healthier alternatives that provide the nutrients I need. This transition has proven to be quite challenging for me sebab aku suka makan! However I understand that this change is necessary for my well-being. I also want to shed some excess weight. This has been a recurring struggle for me over the years and I have often found myself falling short of my weight loss goals. This time I am determined to stay focused and keep pushing forward on this journey toward a healthier lifestyle.
구. Embracing minimalism has certainly been a challenging journey for me but I remain committed to the pursuit of living with less. Over the past few days I've taken significant steps to declutter my space, parting ways with several items I no longer use or need. This journey toward minimalism is intertwined with my financial habits as well. I’ve noticed a pattern of impulsive buying where I acquire items on a whim without fully considering their value or necessity. This behavior not only contributes to clutter but also hinders my ability to save money effectively. My goal moving forward is to cultivate mindfulness around my purchases, enabling me to prioritize saving and making intentional choices about what I bring into my life.
십. Last but certainly not least, I have found myself completely captivated by Stranger Things! Over the past few days, I embarked on an exhilarating full series marathon that lasted for about three for four days straight maybe. I've always had a fascination with the concept of parallel universes, but the show's portrayal of the upside down world takes that idea to a whole new level. It’s both eerie and intriguing. My partner was the one who suggested I check out this series and I’m totally hooked!
This year has truly been a transformative journey for me, prompting significant changes within myself that I never anticipated. Im closing this year with a content heart and overflowing bucket of gratitude. I'm looking forward to experiencing more exciting and meaningful moments in the year ahead.
Till then! Xoxo ~
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